Eighteen Kisses Read online

  ‘Ice cream for lunch! I like your style, Jacki King.’

  I looked up, surprised to see Dillon standing there. He had rushed off as soon as lunch break came. I’d been shelving stuff in the archive and saw him practically run out of the office. I thought he was going to meet Maggie. There were still unconfirmed rumours that they were going out, but Hannah didn’t have very high hopes for them. Apparently Mark had told her that Dillon hardly ever stayed with the same girl for more than two weeks, that he hardly ever went out with anyone in fact. He didn’t seem to be a girlfriend type of guy.

  He sat down across from me, putting a yellow bag he’d been holding on the ground beside him and picked up the ice-cream menu.

  ‘I was in Tower Records,’ he said. ‘The new Mighty Stef single is out today. There were signed copies for the first one hundred people.’

  ‘You ran to Tower Records to get the new Mighty Stef single?’

  ‘Is that crazy?’ he said.

  ‘Impressive,’ I said with a smile.

  ‘You like the Mighty Stef?’ he asked.

  ‘Love him.’

  ‘I thought you would,’ he said. ‘When you were in Ellie’s office the other day I heard one of the guys say he might be the special guest at the Unsigned gig, although it’s not confirmed. What did she want you for anyway?’ he added, pulling the record out of the bag.

  ‘Oh, she just wanted me to address invitations,’ I said. ‘Nothing important.’

  Sometimes I surprised myself at how quickly I was able to lie now, how fast the lies came to me.

  He held the record out to me and I examined it.

  ‘It looks deadly,’ I said. ‘I really like the artwork.’

  I handed it back to him.

  ‘That one’s yours,’ he said.

  ‘What?’

  ‘I got you one too.’

  ‘Why?’

  Dillon blushed.

  ‘I mean… thanks!’ I said. ‘This is really cool.’

  ‘No problem,’ he said.

  I told myself he’d just bought it for me as a friend. I mean, I got Colin stuff all the time. But I also knew this wasn’t something I would share with Nick – he probably wouldn’t understand and things weren’t great between us at the moment. I’d talked to him last night on the phone; I’d asked him was he excited about the gig and he’d gone kind of quiet. I’d decided that once I got back to Avarna, I was going to tell him everything – why I was really in Dublin and exactly what had happened last summer. My secrets were definitely coming between us. I really hoped he’d understand.

  Sensing that Dillon felt the tension of the moment as much as I did, I hastily moved the conversation on. ‘So, what’s your favourite Stef song?’ I asked. ‘Mine’s “Prayer for the Broken Hearted”.’

  We chatted for ages again, sticking to safe subjects like music, and before we knew it, it was five to two. It didn’t help that Dillon had hilariously deliberated for ages about which ice-cream flavour to get.

  We rushed back to St Stephen’s Green, weaving through all the people as fast as we could. The traffic lights were taking ages to change and Dillon shuffled nervously. ‘Come on,’ he said, then grabbed my hand and pulled me across the road.

  I felt my heart beating a little bit faster than it should.

  Chapter 12

  The next person on my list was Calum. I met him straight after work. I’d watched the video of the party again on my laptop, more carefully this time, and was now positive that I’d seen him whisper something in Kayla’s ear. I was determined to find out what it was.

  ‘I’ve already told the police everything I know,’ said Calum. He wore faded denims and a rugby shirt, so tight that it clung to the muscles on his arms. He was sitting across from me at one of the tables in Rage, eating the fries Hazel had given him. She’d gone back behind the bar so it was just him and me again, and I was finding him kind of painful to listen to. ‘I mean, you sleep with a girl and suddenly you’re a prime suspect.’

  It was obvious he didn’t want to be here. He was one of the most annoying guys I’d ever met. He was being very defensive and I suspected he was hiding something.

  ‘I’m not here to make your life difficult, I just want to find Kayla,’ I said. ‘You want that too, right?’

  ‘Yes.’

  ‘Well then, let’s talk.’

  ‘OK, if you insist,’ he said with a sigh. ‘Basically, Kayla and me, we broke up about a month before the party. We hadn’t been going out very long – about nine days, I’d say – but what annoyed me most was that she denied going out with me at all. I don’t know why, but she did. Of course I told people we’d been going out because the best thing about sleeping with Kayla Edwards is that you get to tell people about it…’

  I felt my stomach twist in disgust, but let him carry on.

  ‘She still denied it. Everybody was calling me a liar. I don’t know why she was doing it; maybe she wanted to get back at me because I hadn’t, I dunno, treated her right or whatever. So yeah, I was pretty pissed off. I didn’t want to hurt the girl, I just wanted her to admit that she’d slept with me.’

  ‘Did you ever think maybe she wanted to keep it private?’

  ‘Listen, Jacki… that’s your name, right, Jacki? This wasn’t some sort of delicate love affair that she wanted to keep secret, locked between us forever. She came over to my house one night and basically said we should get together. I’d seen this before – somebody trying to get back at their boyfriend – and I was happy to oblige. If some guy messes up, that’s his problem, not mine. And this was Kayla Edwards. Arriving at my door, basically offering herself to me. It was like something out of a dream. Sure, she seems a bit messed up in the head, but she is also seriously hot. And it’s not like she asked me not to tell anybody. I assumed she wanted to get back at someone, but she didn’t tell me who it was, and she didn’t tell me not to tell. So I mentioned it to one of the lads, and gossip spreads here like you wouldn’t believe. But she denied it. Acted like it had never even happened. Like I’d made the whole thing up. And I’m known to exaggerate so, needless to say, nobody believed me. So, yeah, I was pissed off at her. I was pissed off at her the night she went missing. But I didn’t kill her.’

  I didn’t like Calum at all, but in a weird way, he actually seemed honest. Either that or he was a really good liar.

  ‘Why were you at her birthday party?’ I asked. ‘If you were so pissed off with her?’

  ‘She lives right across the road from me, so I thought why not? I’m really good mates with Libby, and plus – free booze and hot girls… I was hardly going to pass that up.’

  ‘What did you whisper to her?’ I asked. ‘In the video. What did you whisper in her ear?’

  ‘I can’t tell you that,’ he said. ‘I didn’t have to tell you any of this. Look, I didn’t kill her, I didn’t hurt her, I didn’t touch her. At least not anywhere she didn’t want me to. Listen, I gotta go… I need to get to practice,’ he said. And then he was gone.

  Hazel came over to the table, bringing me a Coke, even though I hadn’t asked for one.

  ‘Hey,’ she said. ‘This is on the house.’

  ‘Thanks,’ I said.

  She gave me a sympathetic smile. ‘I know he’s not the most polite person on the planet, but he’s a good friend. I don’t want to interfere, but I just wanted to say, don’t let him upset you. He’s like that with everyone – I think he wants to keep a tough-guy image. He was really shaken by Kayla’s disappearance though; he was so upset about it.’

  I wondered if he’d been upset because he was hiding something. But then again, my gut instinct was to think that he was telling the truth.

  ‘I don’t think he really wanted to be here,’ I said.

  ‘He’s just tired of it all,’ said Hazel. ‘Some people suspect him because he told everyone he slept with Kayla.’

  ‘Do you think he did?’ I asked.

  ‘Honestly, I don’t know,’ said Hazel. ‘She’s not his type at
all, but then again, she didn’t really tell me who she was dating, so it’s quite possible.’

  I felt my phone buzzing in my pocket. There was a text from Nick. It said:

  I really miss you. I booked a train ticket to Dublin. Meet me for dinner tomorrow?

  I smiled. I was so glad he was coming up. Things had been so weird between us lately – seeing him would hopefully help clear the air.

  Of course. I’d love that x, I texted back.

  ‘Was that your boyfriend?’ said Hazel, dramatically inflecting the last word.

  ‘Yes,’ I said sheepishly.

  ‘What’s his name?’ she asked.

  ‘Nick.’

  ‘Is he hot?’

  I laughed. ‘Yes.’

  ‘Nice work.’

  ‘Do you have a boyfriend?’ I asked. I was pretty sure I knew the answer though. I couldn’t imagine that somebody like her wouldn’t have one.

  ‘Yeah,’ she said, ‘I do. His name’s Barry. I haven’t seen him in a couple of weeks though; he’s in the army, so he’s away a lot.’

  I remembered Ellie had mentioned him. She’d said that he’d been manning the door at the party. I guess if you’re in the army then you’d make a pretty good bouncer.

  ‘When does he get back?’ I asked.

  ‘July,’ she said. I thought that must be pretty hard. It made me feel bad for moaning about not seeing Nick that much. At least he was never too far away. And I was so delighted he was coming up to Dublin. Maybe we’d go to a gig or go to the cinema or just hang out, only the two of us. I was starting to make plans when it suddenly hit me. We wouldn’t be going to any of those. We were going to see A Midsummer Night’s Dream. With Special Effects.

  ‘I thought we could do something together,’ said Nick. ‘Just the two of us.’ He’d hardly touched his bacon and cheese fries. I put down my burger and looked out the window on to Dame Street, watching people walk past the diner. The Kinks were playing on the jukebox, my boyfriend was here, we were eating some of the best fast food in town. It should have been fun. And yet, we were fighting. Again.

  ‘I have to go to this play,’ I said. ‘I told Hannah I’d go, and Colin is coming up for it. I can’t not go, she’ll kill me.’

  ‘Didn’t you go to see her in this before Christmas?’ he asked, stabbing his fork into a piece of bacon.

  ‘It’s a different production,’ I said. ‘It’s sold out, but I managed to get you a ticket. Come on, it’ll be a laugh.’

  Nick raised an eyebrow. ‘You should have just told me to come up tomorrow instead; I’ve told the lads I’ll practise tomorrow now, so I’ll have to go home in the morning.’

  ‘Come on, Nick, I totally forgot, I’ve been really busy.’

  He sighed. ‘Right, fine. I’ll go to it.’

  I felt kind of bad. I’d been so busy that I’d totally forgotten. I wanted to talk to Nick too, and it was so nice of him to come all this way. But I knew if I ditched Hannah’s play to hang out with him that I’d never hear the end of it from her. Besides, I was kind of looking forward to it. Sophie and Ross and Colin were all going too.

  ‘At least we’ll have a few hours alone before the play,’ said Nick.

  ‘Well actually, I…’

  I didn’t need to explain. Nick looked to his right, to see Colin’s face pressed up against the restaurant’s window. A few seconds later he was inside.

  ‘’Sup?’ he said, stealing one of Nick’s fries. ‘Ready for some drama?’

  ‘Hey!’ I said. ‘How’d your date go?’ Colin and James had got on so well on their second date that they’d already gone on a third. I was so glad that it was working out. They looked so cute together – I had high hopes for them and I really wanted to hear all the details.

  ‘Oh yeah, it… it went well.’

  We exchanged glances. I could tell he was holding back because Nick was there.

  I think Nick sensed it too. ‘I’m going to the bathroom,’ he said, with a roll of his eyes.

  ‘Well?’ I said.

  Colin scooched in closer to me.

  ‘It was great,’ he said. ‘We went to an exhibition in Sligo and then for a walk on the beach. It was so nice. But then I just, kind of, you know, jokingly suggested we were, like, a “couple”, but James said he didn’t want anything serious. Like, he wants to keep it casual.’

  ‘Oh,’ I said. ‘So he doesn’t want a boyfriend?’

  ‘He says he’s not big into labels,’ Colin explained. ‘With his last boyfriend, he says they got serious too soon and that they both just ended up getting hurt. He doesn’t want that to happen to us.’

  ‘And you’re OK with that?’ I asked. I couldn’t help but think that this was hurting Colin.

  ‘I told him I was OK with it.’

  ‘But you’re not?’ I said.

  ‘Of course I’m not!’ exclaimed Colin. ‘I’ve never had a boyfriend. I want one – I don’t care if I get hurt! Maybe he’ll change his mind…’

  ‘I dunno,’ I said. ‘If he says he doesn’t want to get serious then -’

  Nick came back to the table and Colin started to talk about what dessert he was going to order. I don’t think he wanted to talk about it in front of Nick, so I decided to leave any further questioning until later.

  ‘Sophie, can I sit there?’ said Ross. ‘I want to sit beside Jacki.’ People were starting to wander into the auditorium. We were some of the first there, so we’d got really good seats.

  ‘Why?’ said Sophie.

  ‘Because I haven’t seen her in ages.’

  ‘Neither have I,’ said Sophie.

  I laughed. ‘He wants to sit there in case a hot girl sits next to him,’ I explained.

  ‘What?’ said Sophie.

  ‘Sophie,’ said Ross, standing up straighter as if about to give a lecture. ‘This is a Shakespearean play. Which means there is about a seventy-five per cent chance that a female is going to sit in that empty seat next to you. Out of that seventy-five per cent, considering this is a youth theatre production, there’s about a forty per cent chance that female will be between fifteen and nineteen years old. Out of that forty per cent, there’s a twenty-one per cent chance that girl will be single. That’s a chance I’m willing to take.’

  ‘Those statistics are completely wrong,’ said Sophie.

  ‘What’s wrong,’ said Ross, ‘is that you’re still sitting in my seat.’

  Sophie sighed and stood up, then shuffled in past Nick and Colin and me. The auditorium was filling up, mostly with friends and family of the cast. I recognized a few of Hannah’s friends from drama class, and there were a couple of guys we used to hang out with sitting in the front row. I waved over at them and they waved back.

  ‘I’ve really missed you,’ whispered Nick, playing with the bracelet on my wrist.

  ‘I’ve missed you too,’ I said.

  ‘Shhh,’ said a woman in the front row as the curtain rose, and we couldn’t say any more.

  Sophie, Colin, Ross, Nick and I were standing in a circle when Hannah came skipping across the lobby.

  ‘Well?’ she said. ‘What did you think?’

  ‘You were brilliant,’ I said, which was a nice way of saying ‘The play kind of sucked, but you didn’t.’ She was brilliant though – she always is. Hannah wants to do drama at Trinity, and her entire life seems to be devoted to this goal. She gets involved in as many plays as she can manage – her CV must be a hundred pages long at this stage. If she doesn’t get in, I’m not sure what she’s going to do. Ross has always said he’s going to emigrate the day our college offers come out because he’s scared of what sort of destruction she’ll cause if she doesn’t get in.

  ‘I really liked the costumes,’ said Colin. He sounded a bit more cheerful than earlier, which was good.

  ‘Did you all get a programme?’ asked Hannah.

  ‘Yep,’ we said in unison. ‘Will you sign mine?’ I said, just because I knew she was dying for somebody to ask.

  ‘I think I’m
gonna head on,’ Nick whispered.

  ‘What?’ I couldn’t believe he was bailing so early. ‘But we’re going out after. Can’t you stay for another little while? We haven’t really had a chance to catch up properly.’

  ‘I’m crashing at my aunt’s house and she doesn’t like it when I come back too late. Besides, I didn’t realize I’d have to come to this tonight.’

  ‘Aw, Nick, I’m sorry the evening didn’t work out,’ I whispered. ‘I couldn’t wait to see you. But I couldn’t not go to Hannah’s play, she’d have killed me.’

  ‘Back in a sec!’ said Hannah. ‘I think I see some of the girls from dance class over there.’

  ‘I’m just really tired,’ said Nick more loudly.

  ‘Jesus, Nick, would you ever man up,’ said Colin jokingly.

  ‘What?’ said Nick.

  ‘C’mon, stop moaning.’

  ‘Will you just stay out of this,’ said Nick. ‘I’m going,’ he added, turning to me. ‘I’ll call you tomorrow.’ He kissed me quickly on the cheek and walked out of the theatre. I couldn’t believe what had just happened. I looked at the others, who all seemed equally stunned. I ran after him, but he was already out of sight by the time I’d pushed my way through the crowd. I couldn’t hold back the tears; I was so upset that he’d just left like that.

  Colin came out after me.

  ‘Why did you have to say that?’ I asked. ‘He was already in a bad mood; you’ve just gone and made it worse.’

  ‘Why are you even still with him?’ said Colin. ‘How the hell do you listen to that?’

  ‘You can’t choose who you love, Colin. Your heart chooses it.’

  ‘Well, tell your heart to catch up with your head. You can choose when to let go of them. And you need to cut that loose, Jacki, because he’s not treating you right.’

  ‘How dare you say that!’ I was getting angrier by the second. ‘You’re just jealous because you’ve never had a proper boyfriend.’ The moment I’d said it I wished I could reach into the air and snatch it back, but it was out there now, and I saw Colin’s reaction. He was really hurt.